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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Poem: Disappearing

I'm working on self-publishing a collection of poems (through CreateSpace) and I'm in the process of editing and putting the book together. And as I'm re-reading them, I find that it's mostly hard for me to remember what was going on in my life at the time I wrote that one... some I'm a bit ashamed of... and then I also stumble across some that I don't really remember writing. Anyway, I'm just saying, that at this point I can actually read some of my poems as any of you do. Not knowing how it came to be. And I just wanted to share one.


Disappearing

big colourful dots behind
            my eyes
a single tear in the corner
frozen expression turning
            into stone
rocks swimming with the waves
diving deeper into the
            cold water
there is no pain anymore, only discomfort
can't escape no matter how
            deep I hide
numb feeling still remains
violin weeps for the
            lost heart
veins are full of fire

there is nothing sure,
    of where I'm going
if I let go off things
    will I remember who I am
    or will I just vanish
everything just a mere dream

I need to feel like I used to,
    same intensity
in those familiar thoughts of mind
    definition of reality I find
    something to glue my future to
missing in advance...

    this boat that will disappear
    beyond the horizon.

© Nataša Dolenc, 2008

2 comments:

  1. ok for startes - best of luck with your publishing endeavor and i hope that the end result is every bit as good as you hope it'll be!! ;) (hey or better)

    and i think it's a very special thing to have your poems take you through all the ways you were expressing yourself in the past.. kinda like a journal whose entries are poems.. less facts, much more freedom..

    i can't escape the feeling that with this poem you're really trying to paint an image in your mind and it's driving me crazy as to what was it that inspired all the imagery you describe.. and a very sad punchline at the end, kinda saddens the mood of the song for me, but i like it.. full of insight dancing freely.. good one!

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  2. good luck with self publishing and with your book of poems :D what is that create space like? I would love to publish mine too
    your poem is full of beautiful imagery and its a deeply sad and thought provoking piece <3

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