Saturday, 27 September 2014

Blog: Autumn ramblings

hmmmm... autumn is here :) and a very sunny one for now, which seems promising. I've been in my writers mood lately, so I decided it's about time to write another blog, since I don't think I did one since June, and before that, maybe twice this 

One look at the calendar tells me that it is the end of September already. And that I only have two more weeks of employment. There is a good chance I will work at the same department for less money and for only a few months, it may turn out to be more than a few months... And I really really want to work with children, I'm a bit fed up with gynecology, and as a kid I wanted to help children, and I think I would be good at it. But all this job-seeking is giving me a headache, even more so, when I turn around and look at my colleagues, and most of them are worse-of than I am. The thought that it may take few years before you even get a job scares me. We're all young, healthy, educated, willing to work, but...there's nothing. And then thinking of Slovenian politics...that just makes me wanna throw up. 

So again, I feel like Phoebe in Friends, when they were talking about future plans and she says "I don't even have a PLA." I've been waiting for so long to move away on my own, away from this place, but I'm saddened that it might take a longer time before I will be financially able. A lot of people have been suggesting that it might be better to move to a foreign country and start a new life, for the future here won't be nice, and if I ever have kids, they may have better chances somewhere else... But I don't know.. I just know that I don't wanna move to a foreign country on my own. It's too scary. So if anyone has the same fears...welcome, lets go ;)
This year went by quickly, although at times it felt like the time just drags on. It was also time of changes, things that shook me. But in the end, I guess we need that. To find your way and yourself. If I think that this year I haven't achieved even one of my first set plans...I see that even though it was hard at first, I made second plans. Life goes on. And since we don't know when our time is up, maybe we shouldn't plan that much.
And this year has three more months and they may surprise me as well. It would be nice though if the wars, terrorism and ebola would subside, there are enough tragedies happening already, without mass-destruction.
Luckily, we still have nature. I went for a walk with Ollie, and he walked with me like a dog. He might be confused at what he actually is. He's such a wonderful creature to have in ones life. 

Yesterday I listened to Time by Hans Zimmerman and I enjoy that song so much... it also got me thinking, that I always drown myself in music to keep me sane, and my mind got filled with words and emotions, and the only way I can communicate my innermost thoughts is through poetry, it's a way I can capture the minutes of my life, they may not mean much to anybody else, but they somehow form my photo-album.

Until next time...maybe next year...maybe never again.

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