Poem: To my first born

As I look down at my protruding belly

signs of being stretched and skin like jelly

there's a brown line separating at half

inside was your first home

and I find myself missing

feeling those kicks of your tiny feet

and wondering how you will look like

As I look over the belly,

there's a thin, straight, surgical line

through which you were born into this world

It looks small to me now,

but something amazing came out of that scar

Still I keep wondering

why it had to happen like that

I've waited days, weeks, months

to finally see you; though the waiting

seemed long and never-ending

it took just a few moments to hold you close

Let me not forget your littleness

the tiny fingers that wrap strongly around mine

the little toes already eager to run

and how your head full of hair

fits perfectly into the palm of my hand

and I don't want the feeling to let go

You start to discover the world surrounding you

with your hands and feet, one kick or stretch at a time

a rainbow of branches spreading on the sky

you float away in every direction

with each new heartbeat

like an eagle you wait your time

to discover new heights

On a small thread of hope we build dreams

like castles; one thing about time is true,

it moves fast and forward

My finger touches your belly button

connecting us - can't understand

why anyone would let the connection die

or not appreciate this miracle of life

which we all are.

*

 You know, when you make plans and deadlines? Well, it rarely goes as planed. I've had my mind set to write more, but I have a feeling the most productive years are behind me, at least for some time. You think you know how it will feel, but you have no idea. All the feelings and emotions that go on through your mind... but through it all, you love your child and always want to make it better for them than it was for you. To make their lives better and more meaningful. And you wish you could've made more with the time you had, but all we have is now. And to be honest, as everyone knows, now is the most important time.