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Tuesday, 7 January 2020

Poem: After you kissed me




after you kissed me
you said not a word
but you smiled like you've been waiting for this moment
now we're here and in no hurry

after you kissed me
                you said not a word
but you sighed as if a stone has been lifted from your chest
feeling like coming home

after you kissed me
                you said not a word
but I felt like you knew our souls taste similar
we accepted all that we were, all that we are, all that we will be
this time around
*

Monday, 6 January 2020

Poem: Who we are on the inside



when and where do you begin to be?
we count the weeks, then months, then years
but it started way before in secret, in thought
two cells collided and before you know it
                a new heart started beating

how do you measure up your life?
in years? in months? in weeks?
we all live in the same now, but our realities
are so very different, living through days
and taking tomorrows for granted

everything you feel now you carry into the future
when it can feel like it just happened, sower of time we are
reliving the past as if it's present
carrying the load for years before you start asking
                whose is it?

our stories are our, we are the writers
we don't need anyone to tell us who to be
yet we feel burdened to be what others say
we should be, although most people listen
                just to reply

how can we feel separated from nature?
we may feel like we don't belong here
our instincts shut, our senses dulled
feeling the hollowness inside
                wanting our lives to have meaning

born into the system, we learn and we adapt
so eager to grow up, we forget how to paint and play
we are just like the air, fire, water, earth IS
not separate, but one,
for we are nature

why do we close ourselves inside?
attach to things that keep us forever occupied
we have no time for ourselves
we all know something needs to be done,
                but we're so comfortable in our glitter

when do we allow our lungs just to breathe fully?
we lost connection to everything that actually matters
burning the ground underneath as we go
are our lives but shadows,
                a mere reflection of an echo

who are we, roaming these wastelands?
a shooting star in the earths existence?
the emotions we feel are vast to us
the journeys we make are our own
                who are we on the inside?
                - the whole universe?
maybe it's enough to know
                who we are not

*
I've come to a point in my life, where I don't usually write, but when I do, it pours and I can't stop. I hope it makes sense.

Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Poem: All the Love



We're rushing through days 
as we'd swim through the waves coming at us
Running in this rat race, 
catching glimpses of a life wanted
Waiting for signs of approval outside
- instead of within
Figuring out where you stand
and what you still can do
Building your own space under the sun;
Where you can find peace
Capturing moments,
trying to make good memories
So we have something to live on,
once we run out
We're fighting one bug after the other, together alone
And as I exchange one sleepless night for the other
My old life seems unrecognizable now
I stop and see right in front of me,
proof of how time moves on
As you come near, and hug me
with your little hands
I find all the love I've ever wanted to feel
Exists right here in this moment

*

Monday, 15 April 2019

Poem: On motherhood



nobody tells you, or if they do point out
that it's gonna be hard, you kind of think
"Well, I'm ready and prepared."
but the truth is... you have no idea
how hard it's gonna be
how the world is gonna change
how you're gonna look back and won't recognize
your old self anymore; you're lost
in this space where you miss your past
but don't really know who you have become
regretting all the worries you had,
because now they seem small and unimportant
wishing you'd enjoyed and achieved more,
because now those goals you had
are on hold, and plans change by the minute
everybody else is making you feel guilty
because they idealize motherhood,
but you know there are days
where you'd like an hour by yourself,
or even just a moment to catch your breath
but most days that won't happen,
especially if nobody has your back
or you feel too selfish to ask for help,
because you'd feel guilty for not
enjoying this ideal picture
and you didn't think how lonely it can get
it takes all of you to take care of a baby
drastically growing in front of your eyes
you can't help but wonder "when did this happen?"
and how the time flies, wishing you could go back
and relive some moments, like the moment they were born,
when the smiled at you for the first time, laughed for no reason,
sought comfort in your arms and hugged you real tight...
it's you they know and have known all their little lives
you are their world and you try as you know how
nobody is born to be a perfect parent
we all learn as we go through
nobody is ready for the bond that starts growing,
for the love you feel and the days you never thought
would be like this, but the sad or happy truth is
whatever you are going through, this too shall pass
and become a memory, and as they say "it will be hard,
but it will be worth it."
*