Publishing: Wanderers

 

Explaining why would be futile. It has been my life for 24 years and almost 10 years since I last published my second poetry book. Still words fail me trying to describe the feeling of silence before pen touches paper and words running their course. Every writer knows it takes cracks in your heart for ink to run over the empty pages. I’ve constantly searched for human voice in this vast universe. “Wanderers” is a bit different, short in numbers but bigger in emotions.

It’s available as paperback or ebook: https://books2read.com/u/bW8KOY

Available on Amazon: 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CSZF2LNR

Poem: Explore the hidden caves

 

We’re all just children of the universe. When I say just,

I don’t mean to belittle the role. There is stardust

running through our veins. Our mind a galaxy of wonders.

Yet we’re so caught in the stagnant beliefs and standards

of living we think we need. Our bodies grow up,

and we abandon the spirit of the child living within;

yearning to play, sing, discover, jump, climb,

dance, create… who told you to leave that joy behind,

to hide your true beauty, to diminish your light?

And to exchange it for what?

There is endless power within you,

to relive your past and rewrite

your emotional signature. To heal

and be stronger than before; to let

the light shine through the cracks;

to explore the hidden caves of your

own heart, for you don’t know

the depths of it; to feel all the colours

that reside in there; to let go

of your demons and let

the butterflies loose… and breathe

the future in.

*

Poem: Firefly

 

Poetry prompts autumn

 

Poem: How to heal these wounds?

 

There are doors you wish to never open.

There a paths you wish never to walk.

It’s been raining inside of your heart.

Darkness of you days consuming your thoughts.

You’ve been a prisoner of your own silence.

You whisper into the dead of the night:

“How to heal these wounds?”

Unwrap and unfold, let go of what

you’ve been holding on to.

Do you know the courage of turning a page

and letting go of all that you knew?

When you walk down the crossroads,

wondering which path is yours to take,

remember our lives flow like a river.

It hurts because it matters.

Poem: Homesick heart

Poem: I exhale in the dark blue

 

I exhale in the dark blue,

listening to the song of the wind,

my heart pounding with emotions,

air bears the wisdom of the forest,

of giants and dragons sleeping;

Moon quietly gazing at her

reflection on the surface of the water.

Sadness dripping in my veins,

I’ve swam in it for years,

it lingers even in my voice.

I inhale the freshness

and ask myself: “If not here, then where?”

It’s not written in any book,

nor can any body else know,

it is inside of me, and out there

for me to find out. There is a red

thread connecting all of my days.

I may not know where it leads,

I may have lost my inner compass,

I may have walked a path that was not mine.

I can smell the magic

which brought me here.

Poem: Paint the sky

 

She is trying to describe a thought

without using words. The images

she sees are like pools in which

she swims. Belonging only to her.

Never experienced youth, always

felt older than her age. Outsider

in the roles she got. Her heart

is a forest of colourful trees,

every ring on the trunk carries

a short story of a life lived.

Our sense of who we are

is lost in our illusions

of what we think we should be,

what we think other people

expect us to be. Should we wake,

uncover our blindfolds, and open

our hearts to the person we are.

And paint the sky with our fingertips.

Poem: Anchored in silence

 

Poem: Stain glass castles

 

April rain pouring down with thunder,

caught at a red light; few notes on the radio

and you’re transported into the endless

and careless summer days you’ve had

as a child. Roaming the forests

and meadows in solitude.

You dealt with things as you knew how,

nobody there to hold your hand;

People came and went,

like passengers on the train.

With memories we built

stain glass castles through which

we’ll be looking our whole life.

The colourful shades shadowing

our adult days. Only once

do we walk the path of childhood.

Yet we can revisit anytime;

Peace comes with accepting. 

Poem: The petal rose as butterflies

 

When you do what is expected,

but that doesn’t fill your soul.

You put your foot, one

in front of the other, following

that desire. Do you have the

answer to the question:

“What is it that I need?”

When you’re always waiting,

always searching a way

to escape this moment.

Brokenly looking for a sign

to find your way.

You’re like a stream train

running, but is this path

truly yours? When your soul

is eager to master the blowing wind

and the raging seas.

Your years forming a petal

rose and they transform

into butterflies.

*

Poem: Your shutter is a window to the past

 

Memories reside in your mind,

how tangible do they seem?

There is a constancy you feel to

your character; day to day

you don’t seem to change,

yet when years accumulate

you look at yourself and

question who you have become?

The cells that make your body

have all been replaced several

times in your lifetime. The proof

is there in the photographs

you look at; your shutter is a

window to the past – connecting

you to the moments that may have

gotten lost in the room of your mind.

*

Poem: The space between our hearts

Whenever our eyes met, I saw fire burning in your eyes,

the one which you usually dim for others. When I stood

close to you, I felt as if strings from your heart were opening

up mine; as if you’re opening a book, not to read or write

a chapter, but to make me see me in a mirror, which is you.

Our bodies are carrying cracks – the moonlight shines

through them. We glow ever so differently under ever-lasting

light of the universe. Yet there is something familiar

that connects us. The very cells of our hearts. The

timeless journey of atoms circling in our bloodstream.

The space between our hearts

                               intangible. 

                                     *

Poem: Dandelion dreams

 

She couldn’t calm her mind easily. Even as a child,

her imagination roamed on long legs; and her mind

hardly kept up with the stories she spoke. Soft and

fragile, yet strong willed she danced through the days.

Chasing her dreams, which flew with the wind, like

dandelion seeds. Guarding her untamed heart,

healing it every time it broke. Staying true to

herself, not letting others sway her thoughts.

I hope your dandelion dreams get to shine bright,

on the big blue sky; I hope to find you there.

*

Poem: Echos of the past

 

Memories are echos of the past in your mind,

Captivating you from the present moment,

They give your days a certain weight,

Your heart racing, your breathing heavy,

When you repeat certain emotion.

A moment of what will come next, what will happen to you,

Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,

Roaming around, watching where you're stepping,

Days living on autopilot, as if you're willingly caged,

What does it take to lessen

the seriousness of our fleeting existance?

Why do we extinguish

the passion of our wide-eyed children?

Do not silence the child within you,

he is only asking to be heard

and loved unconditionally.

Poem: Some people

Some people are like acorns,

they fall into the unknown grounds,

and with little sunshine and a little rain,

they sprout, without knowing how,

they grow tall and are a signpost for others,

offering a safe haven in the shades.

Some people look at you,

as if they have stars in their eyes,

milky way at their feet, their thoughts

are echoes of the cosmic winds,

touching you deeply and profoundly,

gently guiding others across the night sky.

Some people have a fire in their hearts,

that no amount of water can put out,

it rages with a passion known only to them,

they burn their bridges and their cords,

from out of that smoke a phoenix rises,

again and again, for they are unstoppable.

Some people are a little lost at sea,

soaked by rain, searching for a current,

constantly plunging from a stream to a waterfall,

the secrets of the deep blue ocean are

written in their bones, maybe that's why,

they are a bit restless, always searching for home.

Poem: of love

Her skin is a shield, yet somehow he managed to reach inside

her heart, with warmth in his eyes and kindness in his voice.

They are walking their own path, yet they cross here and there,

as if they are leading in the same direction. It feels as if it's just

one long journey back to themselves. They know each other's souls.

She asks into the blank darkness of the night: "Do I reside in a corner

of your heart?" There is no reply, just a shiver running through her body.

                                                                                                    He is close by. 

Poem: The act of leaving

 

it's not that I've fallen,

but I feel stuck, as if

I've fallen down the fountain,

and my friends are just

echoes of ghosts in the walls

 

it's not that I've drowned,

but I feel as if, I'm drowning

somewhere deeper into the depths

of the dark hues of the ocean

and I'm neither heard nor seen

 

it's not that I've failed,

but I don't seem to understand

the game they are playing

as if we're actors in a masquerade

and I don't want to play my part

 

it's not that I am eager to leave,

but I don't want to be

living like this any longer

we're all growing, and sometimes

it feels as if we outgrow the space we are in

Poem: I admit

 

Poem: I taught myself

 I taught myself

how to stand still

while the ocean roars inside

 

I taught myself

to never reveal everything

for fear of not fitting in

 

I taught myself

there is beauty

in being who you really are

 

I taught myself

how to tend to my wounds

for in life you have to take care of yourself

 

I taught myself

to be stubborn

otherwise my goals will just laugh at me

 

I taught myself

to think it over

before speaking up

 

through it all… I never taught myself

how to stand in the light

how to raise my voice not to be shut down

how to spend the time that has been given to me

so that when the time is up, I won't have any regrets.

*

Poem: Life is heartbreaking

 

Scribble: Winter

 

Poem: Heartbeat

Our eyes are timeless,

the universe looking back at itself,

wordlessly.

Hold your gaze a little longer,

everything can change

in a blink of an eye.

Years and the days we lived,

our paths cross again and again.

Stand close to me, heart to heart,

where we seemed to be tied.

Let me run my fingertips over your

neck and chest, and meet your heartbeat.

Nothing stays, but this lingering feeling,

of a distant home, so close I could taste it.

Poem: Torchbearer

 

When I think I've reached the bottom,

you show me new depths of love,

as if it's an endless well,

and your voice echoes inside.

 

Unintentionally, we touch each other

in a million ways; your road is yours to walk,

and I admire your actions and decisions.

 

There is freedom in finding ourselves,

our life is ours to live, courageous are those

who can just be and know themselves.

 

I was rushing for a future self,

but you taught me life is not to be rushed.

 

Everything is as it should be.

 

Surrender to the quiet,

what you feel is yours.