Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Poem: To my first born

As I look down at my protruding belly
signs of being stretched and skin like jelly
there's a brown line separating at half
inside was your first home
and I find myself missing
feeling those kicks of your tiny feet
and wondering how you will look like

As I look over the belly,
there's a thin, straight, surgical line
through which you were born into this world
It looks small to me now,
but something amazing came out of that scar
Still I keep wondering
why it had to happen like that

I've waited days, weeks, months
to finally see you; though the waiting
seemed long and never-ending
it took just a few moments to hold you close

Let me not forget your littleness
the tiny fingers that wrap strongly around mine
the little toes already eager to run
and how your head full of hair
fits perfectly into the palm of my hand
and I don't want the feeling to let go

You start to discover the world surrounding you
with your hands and feet, one kick or stretch at a time
a rainbow of branches spreading on the sky
you float away in every direction
with each new heartbeat
like an eagle you wait your time
to discover new heights

On a small thread of hope we build dreams
like castles; one thing about time is true,
it moves fast and forward
My finger touches your belly button
connecting us - can't understand
why anyone would let the connection die
or not appreciate this miracle of life
which we all are.

 You know, when you make plans and deadlines? Well, it rarely goes as planed. I've had my mind set to write more, but I have a feeling the most productive years are behind me, at least for some time. You think you know how it will feel, but you have no idea. All the feelings and emotions that go on through your mind... but through it all, you love your child and always want to make it better for them than it was for you. To make their lives better and more meaningful. And you wish you could've made more with the time you had, but all we have is now. And to be honest, as everyone knows, now is the most important time.

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