Poem: To be human

 

I wake up half in gratitude, half in regret

                feeling the end is near

forgetting how to breathe in the sky

gratitude grows into euphoria, regret turns into fear

for my heart is aware that this life is final

a passing visitor is all I am to this world

and I try to make it matter

to justify my being here, breathing in

I focus on the light in the night that never goes out

round and round it spins, counting down the days

we illuminate the roads to see where we're treading

- as if they are able to reveal the future the roads are holding

- as if knowing the future would make us better decision-makers

these days will matter more to us when we'll be looking back on them

I fear losing future

or is this fear a fear of detachment?

when the world forgets us

we'll learn to disappear completely and not matter

nothing lasts forever but dust

all our children will judge our decisions

and what if this ache never disappears?

what if this hunger never settles?

only one thing is required

                ....to be human

to reach the light and leave a piece of it for those behind

but most important roads are never highlighted

messy hearts always driving home and never waking up

*