Sunday, 10 November 2013

Poem: Soul Evaporates

wind hurts like a razor
through this fragile armour
never a clean cut
when it comes to emotions
my soul evaporates
from out that shadow
which I cast of myself
all diluted and distorted
church bells are ringing
as if to announce the judgment day
and I wait to see which door will open
fog crawling over the hills
as the coming of a ghost
grabbing by the lungs
leaving unfinished business
like paper boats in the sand
the wind howls – a calling
to return home
breathe me in
- I am yours to keep



  1. The image of fog approaching like a lung-grabbing ghost is fantastically inventive.

  2. I like the imagery and that ending is quite debilitating for me.

  3. feels like a near stopping of death before your very being... intense.... smiles...

  4. i was not expecting the close natasa, with all the use of judgement, razor, unfinished business...i was expecting a grittier close...but i like being caught like that....smiles....

  5. You have a wonderful knack of relating human emotion to the natural environment, and giving your reader a heightened sense of both.

  6. To me, most of the poem appears very 'stormy' (with wind hurting like a razor, the wind howling, judgment day, etc) but nice that it seems to end in a kind of safe home harbor.

  7. The returning to home feels safe when the wind hurts like a razor ~ Good one Natasa ~

  8. The safety of home.. and the stormy outside.. love the read

  9. wow, very intense. and vivid imagery.
    my favourite line(s) : "leaving unfinished business
    like paper boats in the sand".

  10. lovely poem.especially loved the moving plea of the last few lines.

  11. I enjoyed the sharp contrast between the painful outside and the comfort found at the very end! Very strong imagery ("wind hurts like a razor", "as if to announce the judgment day) in this poem.

  12. oh, very nice. this was so evocative and romantic too. :<)

  13. i love the nature images here.....rough,sharp,howling, grabbing, amidst wild church bells ringing out to the wild evocative and a contrasting peaceful end......beautiful

  14. "never a clean cut
    when it comes to emotions" - I agree. Brilliant phrase. And very vivid imagery for the poem, enjoyed reading it. :)

  15. Oh, this is a bit mysterious with the fog and wind imagery and then that closing ... yours to keep. Lovely :)

  16. Very beautiful, with the ending a wonderful surprise!

  17. Evocative and gorgeous, Nataša. Lyrical and so lovely.

  18. Evocative indeed. There is comfort in home where we can temporally close ourselves off from storms that befall us.
    Anna :o]

  19. Hard to find anything new to add here. I found your poem intensely vivid, both in imagery and emotions. I also liked the twist on the end. Good, good writing,


  20. I agree with Talon, lyrical and so lovely.

  21. For some reason, the ending reminds me of the child's nursery rhyme/poem - if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take ~