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Sunday, 10 November 2013

Poem: Soul Evaporates




wind hurts like a razor
through this fragile armour
never a clean cut
when it comes to emotions
my soul evaporates
from out that shadow
which I cast of myself
all diluted and distorted
church bells are ringing
as if to announce the judgment day
and I wait to see which door will open
fog crawling over the hills
as the coming of a ghost
grabbing by the lungs
leaving unfinished business
like paper boats in the sand
the wind howls – a calling
to return home
breathe me in
- I am yours to keep

*

22 comments:

  1. The image of fog approaching like a lung-grabbing ghost is fantastically inventive.

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  2. I like the imagery and that ending is quite debilitating for me.
    -HA

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  3. ...it feels like a near stopping of death before your very being... intense.... smiles...

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  4. i was not expecting the close natasa, with all the use of judgement, razor, unfinished business...i was expecting a grittier close...but i like being caught like that....smiles....

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  5. You have a wonderful knack of relating human emotion to the natural environment, and giving your reader a heightened sense of both.

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  6. To me, most of the poem appears very 'stormy' (with wind hurting like a razor, the wind howling, judgment day, etc) but nice that it seems to end in a kind of safe home harbor.

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  7. The returning to home feels safe when the wind hurts like a razor ~ Good one Natasa ~

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  8. The safety of home.. and the stormy outside.. love the read

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  9. wow, very intense. and vivid imagery.
    my favourite line(s) : "leaving unfinished business
    like paper boats in the sand".
    :)

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  10. lovely poem.especially loved the moving plea of the last few lines.

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  11. I enjoyed the sharp contrast between the painful outside and the comfort found at the very end! Very strong imagery ("wind hurts like a razor", "as if to announce the judgment day) in this poem.

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  12. oh, very nice. this was so evocative and romantic too. :<)

    www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

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  13. i love the nature images here.....rough,sharp,howling, grabbing, amidst wild church bells ringing out to the wild sky.......so evocative and a contrasting peaceful end......beautiful

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  14. "never a clean cut
    when it comes to emotions" - I agree. Brilliant phrase. And very vivid imagery for the poem, enjoyed reading it. :)

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  15. Oh, this is a bit mysterious with the fog and wind imagery and then that closing ... yours to keep. Lovely :)

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  16. Very beautiful, with the ending a wonderful surprise!

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  17. Evocative and gorgeous, Nataša. Lyrical and so lovely.

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  18. Evocative indeed. There is comfort in home where we can temporally close ourselves off from storms that befall us.
    Anna :o]

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  19. Hard to find anything new to add here. I found your poem intensely vivid, both in imagery and emotions. I also liked the twist on the end. Good, good writing,

    Elizabeth

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  20. I agree with Talon, lyrical and so lovely.

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  21. For some reason, the ending reminds me of the child's nursery rhyme/poem - if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take ~

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