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Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Poem: Age fools us


owl is howling into the deep of the night
date is changed within one second
I'm sitting on the bottom of your closet
your clothes hanging like dead bodies
while you lay naked on the sofa, asleep
the hot air plays tricks with the mind

I can barely remember how I felt turning twenty-two
                ---- my favourite number
spent it with strangers who were too eager to become friends
and you'd like to believe the fun will last
but it's no better than those birthday parties I had as a kid,
                when nobody showed up
feeling uncomfortable in clothes they made me wear
now I can't recapture the meaning a cake had

god is like a girl picking daisies
playing "love me, love me not" with our lives
we like to believe we change
but there are things we can't shake off
never being courageous enough to trust myself
                  with responsibility on my hands
always feeling like a first time playing the game
awkwardness in my mouth and my fingers
forgive me for always doubting, never trusting the words
and you use the sweetest one's which calm me down like a spell
I'll take you for a walk if you can listen to my silent thoughts

age carries prejudice into which we are fooled to believe
as if years shape all of us in the same way
as if we gain respect by mere number of our age
as if it really matters how old our flesh is
age fools us in a way and leaves no room for closeness
but I just want to sit beside you as you paint


*

And it's six years ago... Can't believe it's been so long. This morning the same images came into my head and I remembered this poem. It's included in my first poetry collection - Colours of the sea. How the feelings trick me, there's no timetable for them. I do keep my promises, and I will write another collection, I am working on it. But it seems it was yesterday when I published the first one. Comparing older poems with the newer ones seems like I've changed their "feeling" a bit. It wasn't intentional, it wasn't because I thought that the style wasn't good enough.. it's just.. the heart found new things, but it never outgrows the past..that's why I feel so nostalgic today.

17 comments:

  1. now I can't recapture the meaning a cake had...this was the best line and there were quite a few stunning others.

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  2. "god is like a girl picking daisies
    'playing love me love me not' with our lives."
    Wow, those are interesting words,
    but sometimes it seems that way, doesn't it?

    I think what you captured for me in this poem is
    that the same feelings we had when we were young
    carry over with us as we become older. The
    very same person resides inside.

    Love the ending...the last two lines are a "Wow!"

    Glad you are working on another collection!

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    Replies
    1. thank you... yes, we do carry our past selves and feelings with us.. they might be loud enough to make them speak.

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  3. Heat can be like some drug on the mind, pumping up hallucinations or squeezing out new icing on old realities. This poem beautifully captures that floating feeling and the raw truths that may erupt!

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    Replies
    1. indeed, summer heat has a strange effect on poetic minds :)

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  4. dang...nice little kernels through out this...love hte image of god as the little girl with the flower...it feels that way at times....that wisdom comes with age, what a myth as well...what sorrow in that it leaves no room for closeness...that last line, felt...

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  5. What a beautiful poem - some of your lines were especially profound. It's always interesting to look back at poems written years ago. Thank you for sharing yours!

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  6. I always think our poetry is fluid and changing...maybe because it's heartfelt and real. This was so lovely. I'll be re-reading this one. :)

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  7. There were many lines in the poems I enjoyed. Much here to ponder and re-read.

    I liked the photo too!


    and this verse "god is like a girl picking daisies
    playing "love me, love me not" with our lives
    we like to believe we change
    but there are things we can't shake off
    never being courageous enough to trust myself
    with responsibility on my hands
    always feeling like a first time playing the game"

    I can relate to it! At fleeting times I felt myself pondering this notion. There's an innocence about everyone still that remains, even when they have aged. (It relates to the ism, and the soul being in the now.)



    On the other hand, although the child within is always there, with age it needs nurturing through wisdom, which comes hopefully with age, or else it's like picking at a scab that never healed.


    Then they say, the older you get, you revert to be a child!

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    Replies
    1. you put it wonderfully. I like those sparks of childhood innocence in people.

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  8. Beautiful piece--I love the imagery you conjure--and the emotions that come along for the ride--beautifully done!

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  9. You have made every line speak........ Nice one.....

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  10. A lot of passion and philosophy pouring in. I fell in love with these words:
    "god is like a girl picking daisies
    playing "love me, love me not" with our lives"

    Blew my mind out. :)

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  11. "god is like a girl picking daisies
    playing "love me, love me not" with our lives"

    These words struck me too.

    Age might make us wiser - but do we really change...
    Anna :o]

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  12. Love this! I also think age may make us wiser but we are still the same.

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