Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Poem: A wave will rise on quiet water

in the grim night
hills framed with fog
moon supported with skeletons of gods
howling dogs, one by one were silenced
by a chill, a gentle whisper
beyond the grave:
"Eiridh tonn air uisage balbh"
I felt chills running down my spine
as if a nail was scratching my vertebrae
with an ancient chanting
all the gates broke loose
spirits set free
to settle the debts
voices from the other side
an echo of past wars
heard through the valleys
sailor songs thundered once more
against the stirring of the waves
the air fumed
with the spilled blood
breaking loose all the horrors
souls carry into the gates of eternity
from the misty shadow
a once familiar face appears
like a long forgotten love letter
sings me a song of his sorrows
and how it's meant to be
no victory in death he found
stone cold hands grab me
kills me one last time
we return to the bonfire lit a decade ago

 Written as a poetry prompt for poets united - link. 've been wanting to write something like this anyway. Most interesting time of the year begins for me, and I again am somewhat sick, a bit delirious from throat pain and the menthol bonbons. Now, that's a horror story ;)


  1. This is VERY atmospheric and spooky....the chills, the chanting, and especially the stone cold hands grabbing at the end........wowzers!

  2. well done you weaved several layers into the prompt... :)

  3. menthol bonbons...ewww....i hope you feel better....kinda grisly bit of a love story eh? kills you once more to return to the bonfire lit a decade ago...the nail on the vertebrea ok you got a shiver at that thought..ha

    1. yes, menthol bonbons did the trick :) grisly kind, the best kind ;) thank you brian, have a fun halloween!

  4. hope you're feeling much better already. :)

    okay, the poem. chilling and dark, but did i sense a shade of unrequited love? lovely imagery!

    1. i do feel better now, thank you :)
      yes, could be an unrequited love...

  5. Spooky and well suited for the prompt! well done.

  6. now I am musing on the 'face like a long forgotten love letter'........beautifully expressed

  7. I love the title..and the sense of mystery and wonder continues throughout the piece..

  8. I love the plunging feeling of this piece. Whether a knife that is driven deeper and deeper or a weight that pulls lower lower. Its chilling as the past wraps around to consume the present.

    1. P.S. I sure hope you feel better soon

  9. I really love the story you have woven throughout this poem. It flows and sticks together quite well. Very nicely done.

  10. Oh, That was absolutely spooky....Wonderful settings send shivers down the spine – so artistic!

  11. Nataša, this is one my absolute favorites of all your beautiful writings I have read. The imagery is so stark and sharp, it cuts to read. Scary as all get out, but in the best possible way. Just gorgeous!

    I hope you are feeling 100 percent again! This is the time of year when viruses seem to want to grab hold and not let go! Happy November!

    1. Kim, I thank you kindly, and I'm glad, this story is really close to me.
      And yes, I'd say 90%, still waiting to get my voice back. Happy November to you too, may it be inspirational.

  12. You carry the reader into the relationship, with all its faults and flaws. A repeating one, perhaps allowing the participants to learn and relearn that which will serve them eternally. You conjure lots of ideas with this one.